Autopsy: Regarding Shuffle Memories 12

What is eternity doing tonight? has become Mega Megane Moé. For the latest posts, please change your links accordingly. Report No.: 75
Date of Report: July 17, 2007
Time of Report: 11:22 AM

Subject: Shuffle! Memories the 12th
Age: 25 minutes
Sex: Unstated. Tests report "Yes, please"
Race: Japanese animation

Background: Known history of insanity in family, especially in earlier Shuffle! generations 1 through 12. Fanservice abuse often common through the years, leading to unhealthily low amounts of plotline and occurances of Type-II (a.k.a Hit or Miss) Humor. Suffered from Beach Episode Disease.

Cause of Death: Appears to be natural causes. Many suspicious suspects, better known as "main characters", are currently being investigated as possible contributing factors to death, to be explored in "after jump" segment.



Subject A: Rin Tsuchimi
Possible leader of crime group known as "The Harem", considered highly dangerous. Suffers from a affliction of the Tohno Gland (named after infamous criminal Shiki Tohno of Tsukihime) which causes him to exude pheremones at unstoppable rate, attracting many females of various background, but not their clothes. Prone to hideous facial contortions due to typical attack pattern of these "Haremettes" which involves many socially awkward but highly fanservicey situations.
Verdict: Possibly guilty, cleared due to proof of insanity


Subject B: Kaede Fuyou
Has exhibited close, perhaps obsessive ties with Subject A in the past, leading to suspicion by authorities. Suspicion confirmed with background check revealing many charges of aggravated assault with deadly weapon including but not limited to I) boxcutter, II) cleaver, and III) physical force. Charges have not yet been pressed due to said charges increasing subject's controlling power over defense force which protects her from authority. This factor is understood by scientists to be a result of "psycho moe."
Verdict: Guilty, cleared of all charges...for now


Subject C: Lisianthus
Extremely unstable personality exhibited, with obsessive and sometimes suicidal tendencies noted. Has a past of being schizophrenic, and as thus very dangerous to approach. Known to use force of the sexual manner to get her way. Has been previously arrested for assault with a pair of deadly weapons on one (1) Rin Tsuchimi, but was released on parole after the conclusion of a good arc. Now considered once again highly dangerous, and all citizens are advised to use extreme caution, especially if they are named Rin.
Verdict: At large


Subject D: Nerine (Not pictured)
Possible partner in crime with Subject C (Lisianthus). Subject appears innocent to the outlook but is currently under arrest for charges in drowning of Mayumi Thyme (pictured). Alibi of not being near victim at time of death checks out as plausible but is under suspicion of using magic powers of 'bouncy' type to drown victim from long range, in addition to causing massive damage to any male beings in a 5-mile radius.
Verdict: Restraining order issued for Nerine and her chest region.


Subject E: Primula
Scowling, purple-haired criminal arrested recently under many more charges than can be listed. Primary accusation is identity theft of one Yuki Nagato, with both eating and vocal habits being lifted directly from the victim. Also charged by lolicons for evasion of fanservice, made mandatory in compliance with the laws of Harem Anime, rule 95 part IIIa (page 496, Beach Episode Corollary).
Verdict: Currently under test tube arrest.


Subject F: Mayumi Thyme
Long-time reporter often infamous for lack of boundaries. Has been noted to suffer from many mental afflictions, including the Daidouji Camera Complex (note the digital camera grafted to Mayumi's hand) the Flat Chest Complex, and the Eroge Complex (part IV, Obsession with Genitals). Extreme care is advised when handling.
Verdict: At large, currently being sued by one Konata Izumi for violating trademark on Haruhi references.


Subject G: Itsuki Midoriba
Infamous pimp known to deal in both genders in order to fill his harem. Wanted for violation of anime guidelines which state, in part, "No male shall perform acts of fanservice (including but not limited to, jiggling, shaking, groping, squeaking, or skirt lifting) in any anime expressed declared to be of the harem variety."
Verdict: At large, possibly in the Middle East searching for his harem (see Shuffle! 24)


Subjects H and I: King of Gods and King of Demons
Shown to exhibit tentacle fetishes common of many people their age. As such, study was prematurely concluded before more info could be obtained
Verdict: Currently contesting charges of Being Useless Under (and Over) the Influence.


Subject J: Asa Shigure
The seeming odd character out of the group, showing strong signs of sanity, including logical reason, common sense, and a lack of a need to strip, kill, drink, copy Nagato, have a harem, be gar for Rin, or make funny faces.
Verdict: Innocent

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...in the end, I'm not sure quite where this blog post was going. I was watching Shuf!Memo 12 and basically was contemplating just how insane every character was (due to their personalities getting dragged to the deep end), with the exception of Asa, and as such, an insanity check medical report blog post ensued. I can almost see where the Asa fanboys come by now - I used to not really like Asa too much but I seem to find that sanity just might be a good trait in people.

This episode actually was a pretty amusing one, though, once you get past all the fanservice. The plot was funny, it was hilarious to see all the characters be really insane (especially Kaede's segment. I was waiting for her to scream, "Heeeeeeere's Johnny!") as well.


...but what's with Mobius being in the god world? (Hint: play Sonic Boom.)

-CCY